Book Review: The Peacegiver

Two Thumbs Up!
This book was totally not what I expected. But I don't really want to give a synopsis, I just want to go into what I learned:

Loving People: I learned that loving people is really just seeing them through God's eyes. When we have a problem, with a friend, a spouse, a relative and we let it stir us up to anger, the sin is our own. No matter what they did, the sin is still our own. Even if we are in the right, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because Heavenly Father doesn't judge us according to the sins of others, we are judged on our own accord. So if they are doing something wrong, and then we judge them harshly, hold a grudge, let it make us mad, then we have done something wrong too and we are both sinners. We are all sinners and the only way to the Lord is through Christ. As soon as we choose to follow Him, He will lift our burdens and make them light again. If we continue letting anger and hatred fill our lives, regardless of what is being done to us, then we are choosing the way of Satan and peace will not be found. The "motes" that we find in others eyes are BECAUSE of the "beams" that our in our own. Our sinfulness leads us to judge others, take offense and hold grudges. We must learn to forgive because when we choose not to, we are sinning and therefore can not feel peace.

The Atonement:
The book illustrated the Atonement in a light I had never seen before. We all know that Christ suffered for our sins. But what does that mean? As we sin the "flaxen cord" by which Satan has a hold of our hearts becomes a thick chain to lead us down to hell. Each time we choose to follow Satan, whether it be an obvious sin or just choosing to do something other than praying or going to church, our eyes become a little more darkened, we become a little more lost. Christ, being perfect of course, went down each dark path we would've been lost in and found a way out. The difficulty of changing your heart when you sin is too much for man to bear. Christ did it for us and only He could've done that. I picture us lost in the dark and Christ coming down to us, finding us and carrying us out one by one. But to do that he had to experience the agony that is felt when recovering from sin. Every sin for every person. That is why as soon as we choose to follow Him completely, our burdens will be lifted and peace will be found on our way back.

There is no justification for sin. Its either a sin or its not. Sins bring us distress, hatred, or as I like to call it, an icky feeling inside. Non-sins bring us peace and happiness. It really is that simple. No ones actions will justify us and make us feel like we are in the right when we are not. We have to turn to the Lord and abandon sin. Just love others.

I highly recommend this book and I hope the change of heart that I have felt reading it sticks with me.

#19 ammended

19. Go hunting with Jarom and kill something so he thinks his wife is cool

Continued

16. Feel absolutley organized in my home.
17. Be completely up to date with my photo books.
18. Invent an awesome recipe
19. Go hunting with Jarom
20. Watch my kids read and fall in love with the Harry Potter series

More to the List...

10. Visit Greece with Jarom
11. Go to Graceland
12. Build a really cool sand castle
13. Read most of the classics so I feel smart when people refer to them
14. Have an actual studio
15. Change someones life

My Bucket List

I finally watched that movie and really want to get started on mine. I'll just add to it whenever I think of something...

1. Take my family back to Costa Rica.
2. Go on a mission
3. Own a set of really nice, fancy dinnerware (you know with the different colored plate underneath, the patterned one on top and all the other stuff I don't even know when to use)
4. see a session in the Salt Lake temple
5. give a speech to a really large audience
6. really love an animal
7. eat lobster
8. become a good wakeboarder
9. Take Lydi to see the princesses at Disneyland

more to follow, brain has retired.

Epiphany

Cleaning up right after the mess has happened makes cleaning so much less of a big deal. Wow, who'd of thought my mom was right all these years?

I am pretty lucky :)

I had a fun day. The stress has eased a little bit and things have settled for the moment. I loved dance today. My students are seriously precious, every single one of them! Especially that Lydi of course! And Jackson gave me the biggest tightest hug when I came in for a water break. I am so lucky that I get to teach these awesome kids under the same roof as my family. I actually get to go in and get a tight squeeze from Jack in the middle of work (if you can call it that). There are some things about it that can be hard or a little stressful but the actual teaching is so awesome!

There is one little girl (just turned 3) who never dances and today I just had an idea pop in my head. Ok so it was a form of bribery but whatever the case she danced! She looked so cute doing it too and she actually knew the routine (or could follow pretty well). It was a fun success for me tonight. Good day.

Self-Mastery... or not

Every time I think I've come along way in the way I react to life and trials and that I'm doing pretty well, I get slammed. That'll show me! Don't worry, nothing serious. Just some SERIOUS stress. And then being sick on top of it. Lessons from this weekend: 1.Its not personal, its just business. 2. Never let a pompous unhappy business man make you cry. 3. Its just business. 4.Sometimes being sick is just the right thing to make you relax and get a break, (thanks Jar). 5. Chill out, life is so much more than the meaningless dealings we have day to day, why stress? 6.Almost any stress or ailment is cured by a good book, popcorn and Reeses. 7. And one more time, its just business. CHHIIIILLL. That used to be my motto and now I'm stressy bessie. I actually have called a couple of people cuss words this week hahaha... I'm going to find away to get to a beach, put my butt in the sand and my toes in the water and enjoy my family one of these days! Until then I'm just going to laugh when I want to cry and sing when I want to cuss. (that should be interesting)

p.s. go to my family blog because you have to see Lydi's cool Halloween costume!!

If you've ever questioned the Book of Mormon...

From Elder Holland:
"None of these frankly pathetic answers for this book has ever withstood examination, because their is no other answer than the one Joseph gave as its young, unlearned translator.

In this I stand with my own great grandfather who said, simply enough, "No wicked man could write such a book as this, and no good man would write it, unless it were true and he were commanded of God to do so."

I testify that one cannot come to full faith in this latter-day work, and thereby find the fullest measure of peace and comfort in these, our times, until he or she embraces the divinity of the Book of Mormon and the Lord Jesus Christ of whom it testifies. If anyone is foolish enough or misled enough to reject 531 pages of a heretofore unknown text teeming with literary and Semitic complexity, without honestly attempting to account for the origin of those pages somehow, especially without accounting for their powerful witness of Jesus Christ and the profound spiritual impact that witness has had on what is now tens of millions of readers, if that's the case, then such persons, elect or otherwise, have been deceived. And if they leave this church, they must do so by crawling over or under or around the Book of Mormon to make their exit. In that sense, the book is what Christ himself was said to be: a stone of stumbling and rock of offense--a barrier in the path of one who wishes not to believe in this work. "

-------------------------
I've known the Book of Mormon is true for a long time. I trust my heart and feelings. I feel if I have been given any gift, its the ability to discern right from wrong. Some call it a keen conscience, I of course know its the Holy Ghost. I've heard things that seem weird about Joseph Smith, I know there is stuff out there about church history that seems odd or shady. I may not understand everything there is to know about the church but I have always felt peace when I have read the Book of Mormon. I could never deny its truthfulness and from that testimony has grown a knowledge that I am on the right course in this life. That our Church is the restored Church of Christ that well-learned Bible scholars are still searching for. This past conference weekend, I just feel so blessed to know. Elder Holland's talk is what my heart tells me but in eloquent language spoken by a wonderful leader of the only Church that has a fullness of the Gospel.

I've had family members leave the Gospel purposely or fall away inactively. Its one thing if the lifestyle seems too much and their testimony isn't strong enough to pull them through. But it kills me when I see someone I love turn away from the truth because they don't believe it. All I have to say to them is read it again! All the way through. Get down on your knees. Give yourself that much.

I have a sliver in my foot and I like it.

You know whats cool? Its cool when a situation happens when you should be depressed but you're just not! This really cool girl I know is going through a hard divorce. I felt so bad for her for a while but then I started noticing something. She has a new bounce in her step, she is more outgoing, she has some sort of light going on that she didn't have before. When I talked to her about it, she confirmed that she feels so much better about herself. So much happier. I feel ten times happier than last year when Jarom was in that wicked career with that wicked witch as a boss... I couldn't stand it. But last year we had security, we had a good job, etc... this year we are wingin' it and much happier. So I guess the moral of the story is, we never know what the Lord has in store and so we shouldn't be frightened by situations that may seem scary. We should just step forward and take what life gives us!

What I learned this Sunday

First, I learned that I am the worst time manager- no never mind, I already knew that. So we were late to church and missed the sacrament. Bummer. But the talk today was on sharing your talents and it was really good, followed by a good musical number. Dang I can't remember why I liked it so much but I did. I should really take notes.

Then we entered the jungle. Yes we are now in nursery. Cute and fun little stinkers. I learned that I overestimated the kids attention spans for sure. (we have the youngest group) Jack got to go in with us and I learned that he is just as big as all the kids that are way older and he can hold his own! More on that on my other blog.

Here is the spiritual growth of the day. I had to show a house that I am renting out. This woman asked many good questions about the house and had a great family. Before she took an application, she asked me if I was LDS. I didn't know what she was wanting to hear but of course I said yes without hesitation. She then just lit up. She just joined the church very recently and was worried about switching wards. She then told me how happy she is and how much peace she feels. Just as I was noticing the pricklies on my arm she told me she had goosebumps. She said that she feels like she is the opposite of Adam and Eve. That she was in the lone and dreary world for so long and now she has the light of the Gospel. I could just feel it radiate from her. What a great reminder of what I have and have always had. So even if I never see this woman again, she bore testimony to me and strengthened my testimony. I hope I can do that for others more often.

Workin' It!

No this is not a video of me workin' it, though I should post one of me doing the new hip hop dance Rachel taught me because for some reason I look like the biggest dork doing it! Whats up with that? I'm supposed to be all ghetto and stuff!!
Anyway, thats not with this post is about. I feel like me and Jarom are moving along like a well-oiled machine right now! We are just making this school thing work and I know that it is from a lot of prayer that we are able to accomplish the things we are accomplishing. I feel like I am slowly finding a balance and that is very energizing to me. Sure I have bad days but overall I am able to make a plan, stick to it, squeeze in most things I need to do and have a little RNR. Jarom is awesome. He is doing his school, starting a new job, taking care of the kids while I teach, and still finding time to help me with chores and stuff. I feel like this next year of school is going to be a fond memory someday of hardwork, humility, and blessings. And the best part, we are so much happier than last year. Sometimes you have to go with what the Spirit is telling you even though it seems crazy! (even when it says lets give up a good job with benefits to go back to school and start over in a new career and get 35,000 more in debt) Thats what we did and its the right thing. I know now just like I knew then. What do people do without prayer? I didn't know how it would work out but I'm starting to see that it will. Just 14 months and counting!

RISE AND SHOUT THE COUGARS ARE OUT!

Oh my gosh! The Cougs are freakin Legit!!! (Ok so maybe OK would've had a chance if their quarterback wouldn't have gotten hurt) But a W is a W. I am so happy! And now we have to figure out a way to watch all the Cougar games. #9 #9 oh my gosh, why couldn't they have been this good when I was there and had season tickets every year and sat my butt out in the cold to watch them lose time and time again? Its ok at least I can say I am a true fan and now I can revel in their glory! The best part- BYU football is one of the only sports team me and Jarom agree on.

Enrichment Anxiety

Places like enrichment bring out this strange quality in me, especially being fairly new in a ward. I walk into enrichment with a small knot in my stomach. I imagine that instant when you walk in and everyone is already in their conversations (because I'm usually late) and sitting at their tables. The embarrassment of standing there looking for someone to sit with and feeling like everyone is staring at you almost makes me not want to go. BUT- that's only whats happening on the inside. On the outside I immediately sit down and start taking over the conversation. I start searching my brain for little things I remember about people and asking them all kinds of questions about their life. If there is a silent moment I jump on it quickly and try to make everyone feel comfortable. Its funny because I think, hmmm these people probably think I'm pretty social and outgoing, little do they know, I am just pretty good at suppressing the in-born shyness. My mom is so the same way. At my wedding reception in Animas, she was pinching me and telling me she was going to die of embarrassment and in the same breath she was in an all-out laughing, wonderful conversation with some random person she didn't know! I just divulged my secret, so just know if you see me at enrichment, I'm really dying inside.

My talk on Be of Good Cheer that I gave last Sunday.

Preparing this topic was such a good experience for me so I thought I would share what I compiled:

We are all very aware of the state the world is in right now, and even more close to home, the state of our country, our state, and the tough spots many of us are in due to finances, sin or other misfortunes.

President Monson said,
“It would be easy to become discouraged and cynical about the future—or even fearful of what might come—if we allowed ourselves to dwell only on that which is wrong in the world and in our lives.”
And later he says, “We know that there are times when we will suffer, when we will grieve, and when we will be saddened. However, we are told, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”2

I’ve never really thought about that statement as much as I have in preparation for this talk, we ARE so we might HAVE JOY. How cool? We exist so we can be happy. I think about my perspective as a mother and I would do anything for my babies to be happy. Sometimes I wish I could shield and protect them from anything that might cause them pain or sadness, I know I can’t. I can’t guard them day in and day out to avoid them falling down and getting hurt, I can’t make it so they make all the decisions that lead to happiness. I know they have to learn for themselves and all I can do is guide them. Heavenly Father has given us a guide and wants our happiness just the same. Realizing our Heavenly Father’s great desire is for us to be happy is the first important principle.

So how do we make this life a happy one despite our trials?
1. Do things that make us happy
2. Have faith and trust in God
3. Serve others
4. Decide to be happy.


1. Do things that make us happy.
I read a talk from Elder Kikuchi from the seventy that had an impression on me. When he was mission president in Hawaii, he instructed his elders and sisters to:
a. • Rise from his bed early—in his case, a few minutes before 6:30 a.m.
b. • Exercise for a few minutes.
c. • Wash his body and shave—make himself clean.
d. • Dress for the day.
e. • Go to a quiet place inside his apartment.
f. • Kneel, subdue his spirit before Heavenly Father, and call upon Him. Talk with Him in reverent prayer.
g. • Wait for His holy inspiration, pondering the scriptures or a recent general conference talk and think about the specific problems he faced.
I pondered this and realized that the days that I take the time to do the things that make me feel good, I am usually in a better mood. To his list I would add a few chores to keep the house in order, some special time for each member of the family and maybe a hobby of my own that makes me excited. That’s a lot to accomplish so if it doesn’t all happen everyday, its fine! Just keeping goals and trying to nourish our minds, bodies, and spirits will help us have a brighter outlook when times our tough.

2. Have Faith and Trust in God.
The sub-title says:
“Be of Good Cheer, the future is as bright as your faith.”
The future is as bright as our faith…

Elder Snow of the Seventy said,
“At times we may feel that our personal lives are unraveling from the natural consequences of living in a fallen world. The agency of man allows the introduction of chaos into lives that long for order, and nothing can seem more hopeless than the tattered lives of those we love. Can they, or we, ever be rescued? Is there any hope for them, or us? In moments of such despair, the priceless promise of God’s deliverance brings hope to troubled hearts.
No prophet has framed it more simply than did President Gordon B. Hinckley in the program for Sister Marjorie Hinckley’s funeral: (and I can just picture President Hinckley saying this) “It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.”2 President Hinckley’s optimism for the future is rooted in his firm knowledge that the Lord’s promises of deliverance are sure.”
What a wonderful blessing talks can be. Our lives are a little risky right now. With my husband in school, we are putting a lot of faith in businesses and things we do not have much control over. But president Hinckley repeats twice, “He will not forsake us” So each day we CAN wake up happy. We aren’t sentenced to a life of worry and fear. We CAN just have faith, be happy, and keep doing our best. He will not forsake us.
I was in Seattle last weekend visiting a friend and I heard a little story that illustrated faith so beautifully and I’m going to tell it the best I can from memory:
A father was journeying on a train with his little daughter, who was blind, on his lap. After many hours had passed, his friend joined him and asked if he could take his daughter for a few minutes and give him a rest. The father agreed. Once his daughter was safely on his friends lap the father asked her, “do you know who has you?” And she said “No but I know that you know”
We may not know how things are possibly going to work out in our favor but if we trust in Heavenly Father, we can have peace that he knows.
I repeat President Monson’s words, “The future is as bright as our faith.”
3. Serve others:
Ether 12:4 Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

So the scripture says that those who believe in God are sure, steadfast, and always abounding in good works which leads them to glorify Him. So that would mean the opposite of a disciple of Christ is unsure, fearful, and self-centered which leads us nowhere. Looking outside ourselves to see others pain and trying to remedy that, to act as the Lords hands and mouthpiece can cause nothing but what I like to call the warm fuzzies. Perfect happiness.
President Monson’s stories in his talk, “Be of Good Cheer” and all the real life sufferings we hear daily help us see our problems as obsolete – not unimportant- but just normal problems and instead of dwelling on those, we can pick ourselves up, get out the door and try to help someone else.
I had a Bishop at BYU help me through a rough time. Each time I saw him he encouraged and inspired me to try different things and to really learn to pray etc… Finally I was happy to report to him that I felt a true change of heart and I was very happy and at peace. His words to me I’ll never forget. He said (in his British accent), “Ok love now go and run the Lord’s errand”.

4. Finally we can decide to be happy.

Outside of those people who may be suffering from clinical depression or similar disorders that may need help of a professional, we can decide our attitude about everything.

I once attended a devotional of Sheri Dew. She spoke of “verbal litter”, what trail do you leave behind when you say things because you are in a bad mood? What Spirit does that bring to your home? What kind of a trail do you want to leave behind you?”

For some reason I think of road rage and telemarketers. We always think we can just be rude on the road, but what if when we get cut-off instead of honking and yelling, just assume this person had to get somewhere fast and forgive? What if we recognize that these people are just trying to be good at their job and just decide to be kind. Wouldn’t that be nice for a change for them and bring a better Spirit into our hearts?

The perfect example of making the decision to be happy despite trials is very close to my heart. My little cousin Ashley was diagnosed with Leukemia when she was just a few months old. The side effects from the heavy medicines and chemo left her very weak and tiny. Her lungs were hit the hardest. She carted around an O2 tank as big as her for years and years. There were countless problems besides that. I used to feel sorry for her. All of us grew up dancing and playing but she always took joy in our accomplishments and loved to watch and cheer us on. She died a couple of years ago at the age of 19 and her mother found her diary shortly after. Every single entry started with the words - “I had a good day today”. Little Ashley always had the answer. She told herself she was happy and she had a good day, couldn’t we with our healthy bodies and busy lives just be strong enough to decide to have a good day just like Ashley?

Anyone’s situation can change in a second. A sickness can be cured, a well person may become sick, a poor person can gain wealth and vice versa. We have little control over life’s circumstances. We do have control over how we will react to life’s trials.

In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

We have been given the BEST formula for happiness. We will have grief and sorrows. It’s ok to break down and have a bad day, everyone does. But let’s remember that we ARE that we might have JOY. Christ has overcome the world and can help us overcome any problem we might face if we cast our burden upon Him.

cereal on the floor

I have been walking around cereal on the floor for the entire day today. Why? I don't know. How long would it take to sweep it? Two seconds. I do that sometimes. I'll clean my whole house but leave some random something out, like Lydi's sponge rollers on my bathroom counter. They were there for 2 solid weeks. How annoying! I sound like such a slob but I really do like things clean and they drive me crazy! I just never get to it! I get so distracted and do other things until I finally can't take it anymore. So maybe I should go sweep up the Kix. But I really need to go put my make-up on (yes it is 3pm) and switch the laundry. And I wanted to wipe-off the counters first in case anything else falls and to do that I have to finish clearing the little junk that has gathered and go through the mail. You see how it goes. So the cereal has won and it will remain a little longer.

Recovering Shop-A-Holic

I'm Melanie Ellis and I'm a shop-a-holic. I've been clean for way too long. I love to shop. I love the smell of new clothes, the dollar bins at target and digging through crap and finding a treasure. I love showing what I bought to my semi-interested probably mostly faking it husband, even if its something tiny. Well since we became muy pobre (doesn't sound as bad in Spanish) I've had to give up my favorite hobby. But I have found ways to keep the high flowing in. Its kind of like my idea of a nicotine patch for a smoker. When we need something besides groceries for the house I get real excited. For example, our mop fell apart a few weeks ago so I did all my grocery shopping and when I was done I was so excited to move on to the cleaning section. I spent about 15 minutes holding different mops, comparing price and quality and ringer contraptions. It wasn't the full blown excitement that I used to experience with shopping but at least I bought something that isn't edible. I'm afraid of myself in 16 months when Jarom's done with school. I'm afraid I might fall off the wagon permanently. Oh yeah and if you ever like draw my name for Christmas or something, I have two words for you: GIFT CARD.

Clearing the Head

Its crazy. Visiting Stacey in Seattle. A weekend without the munchkins and away from my love Jarom. Everything is so quiet. I am surprised how fast I can swing back into the old carefree self, not even blinking an eye. I have decided that every mom should do this now and again. I worried that somehow I might miss my former free life by revisiting it but I don't think I will at all. This independent, self-centered life has its benefits: sleeping in, reading till all hours of the night, walking around stores with no need to get back, watching chick flicks, staying up late and laughing with my Stace... but instead I am able to treasure my kids more. I'm able to remember all the love and joy they bring to me. It really makes me appreciate Jarom too. I have that guy I always dreamed of when I was single. He loves me so much and he is the best father and husband. When you're married and stressed like Jarom and I have been, it is so easy to forget why we fell in love. Its easy to become a very functional couple. I pride myself in getting things done and taking care of our children. I think I will return to Queen Creek more committed to making the little things a priority. Making sure worrying about when our next paycheck will come is a reality we have to face with work and faith and not worry and contention. Its like I'm looking at my life from someone else's eyes being so far removed from it. I have always loved learning from others and something that Stacey has taught me in this little trip is just happiness. Any situation can change in a second. The person with no financial worries can be begging on the street tomorrow. Its how we experience each circumstance that makes us stronger and isn't that what this life is all about? Its funny though, as I write this it sounds pretty lame. I mean I've heard it all before and I've always believed this way. In fact, I thought I was doing alright at being happy and pressing on but now the weight behind this idea is just greater. It makes more sense to me and I feel like I can truly make a change. I think when I get home Jarom will like me so much that he won't mind watching the kids for another weekend next year... we'll see about that one!! (hey but that is a good tactic) oh and anyone who might be afraid of leaving their kids (afraid they'll miss them too much- that was my fear) shouldn't be. I miss them terribly. I want Jack to toddle up these stairs and I think of Lydi whenever I see a dog or a princess BUT I almost feel that I am halfway doing this for them too. I'm sure my patience will be greater and my fuse longer when I return . I just want to bite little Jack's cheeks and squeeze Lydi till she pops! But I will soon. Just a couple more days of clearing out the junk. Oh and Jarom is going to have way more kisses when I get home too. So thank you to my BFF Stace for flying me up here to hang out and laugh and learn. She's got a great life and so do I.

Line up for some free eggs...

I am prideful. I don't like welfare. I appreciate its purpose as a means to an end but I hate being in this position. I've heard it said that there is always a price you pay for "free" stuff. I think the price you pay is freedom. I seriously just had my kids poked and prodded and weighed and measured like cattle while I sat in a waiting room full of people with an angry social worker who had no sympathy for my one year old who didn't want to cooperate. All for some eggs, milk, and peanut butter. Just know that I'm sorry I use people's tax money right now and I hate it and as soon as Jarom graduates we will pay whatever price for health insurance, we'll buy all the peanut butter we can afford, and then pay through the nose in taxes to pay back and support other people who are hopefully going to contribute to society one day.

mint chocolate chip icecream

I wonder if men know about a mommy's comfort treats. You know, that one treat you have (or two or three) each day to wind down and feel in control. I feel in control when everyone is gone or the kids are asleep and I sneak in the freezer to get me a scoop of that luscious mint chocolate chip icecream. No kids are begging for a bite, no husband is saying are you going to get me some, or gees! you've eaten almost that whole carton by yourself because I haven't had any! Its just me and the icecream. To enhance the moment I watch a re-run of so you think you can dance or read my harry potter. I just wanted to remember this moment and cherish it because I am just about to grab a scoop. Hubby is studying (bless that man), kids are snoozing, and I am going to be diving into a green and black mountain of pure deliciousness. (I know mom... I'm supposed to be on the Body for Life diet, there's always tomorrow).

Why am I starting this blog?

I don't know. One day I woke up and decided I wanted to write a blog that is totally me. Family blogs are great but I am always careful about what I write and I feel all this pressure to show how cutesie my family is and spell everything right. I named this blog Melgo's Thoughts because I am Melgo. Deep inside thats the girl I am and always want to be. Sister Ellis, Melanie, Miss Melanie, and Mel are fine but Melgo is totally goofy, careless, and laid back. My grandpa gave me that name when I was little and it stuck. People who knew me when I was Melgo knew that I was messy, funny, and chill. People who met me as Melanie, or even worse: Sister Ellis, probably think I am somewhat stressy with all the jobs I juggle and how I can get caught up in keeping up with the Jones's or in this case, the perfect mormon mommies who don't exist. I'd like to take myself back to the old school and just be who I am and write about whatever random thing is on my mind pretending that no one is reading this. So stay tuned to hear some of my most deep and most shallow, most spiritual and secular, most opinionated and stupid, exciting and boring random stories and thoughts.

El Paso 4th Ward

Wards in the "mission field" are so different than wards in Utah or Arizona. I had forgotten what it was like until I went back to my hometown this past weekend. Now don't get me wrong, there are so many great people here and so many times when I really learn and feel the Spirit at church. There are definite benefits from strength in numbers. BUT, going to testimony in El Paso is just a sweet experience. That ward is probably 75% converts. To hear how everyone has found the gospel and there amazing testimonies is so cool. Seeing the gospel through their eyes sheds a new light on it for me. I realize that at times the competition of living around a whole bunch of other Mormons can really take away from the important things. Sometimes, whos kids have the prettiest hair accessories and who owns the coolest boat gets in the way of true heartfelt service without seeking gratitude or recognition.

These people helped raise me and took part in my joys and sadnesses. So I live in AZ. Thats ok. If you don't like the culture- change your culture! Change my attitude about everyone and everything. Don't fall into the trap of comparison. Don't stereotype. Get to know each person as an individual. Even the ones with the boats and pretty hair stuff! Don't worry if you aren't included- invite everyone for a movie night and then you will definitely be included! Love other peoples kids! Go to their receptions, graduations etc... just love.