Clearing the Head

Its crazy. Visiting Stacey in Seattle. A weekend without the munchkins and away from my love Jarom. Everything is so quiet. I am surprised how fast I can swing back into the old carefree self, not even blinking an eye. I have decided that every mom should do this now and again. I worried that somehow I might miss my former free life by revisiting it but I don't think I will at all. This independent, self-centered life has its benefits: sleeping in, reading till all hours of the night, walking around stores with no need to get back, watching chick flicks, staying up late and laughing with my Stace... but instead I am able to treasure my kids more. I'm able to remember all the love and joy they bring to me. It really makes me appreciate Jarom too. I have that guy I always dreamed of when I was single. He loves me so much and he is the best father and husband. When you're married and stressed like Jarom and I have been, it is so easy to forget why we fell in love. Its easy to become a very functional couple. I pride myself in getting things done and taking care of our children. I think I will return to Queen Creek more committed to making the little things a priority. Making sure worrying about when our next paycheck will come is a reality we have to face with work and faith and not worry and contention. Its like I'm looking at my life from someone else's eyes being so far removed from it. I have always loved learning from others and something that Stacey has taught me in this little trip is just happiness. Any situation can change in a second. The person with no financial worries can be begging on the street tomorrow. Its how we experience each circumstance that makes us stronger and isn't that what this life is all about? Its funny though, as I write this it sounds pretty lame. I mean I've heard it all before and I've always believed this way. In fact, I thought I was doing alright at being happy and pressing on but now the weight behind this idea is just greater. It makes more sense to me and I feel like I can truly make a change. I think when I get home Jarom will like me so much that he won't mind watching the kids for another weekend next year... we'll see about that one!! (hey but that is a good tactic) oh and anyone who might be afraid of leaving their kids (afraid they'll miss them too much- that was my fear) shouldn't be. I miss them terribly. I want Jack to toddle up these stairs and I think of Lydi whenever I see a dog or a princess BUT I almost feel that I am halfway doing this for them too. I'm sure my patience will be greater and my fuse longer when I return . I just want to bite little Jack's cheeks and squeeze Lydi till she pops! But I will soon. Just a couple more days of clearing out the junk. Oh and Jarom is going to have way more kisses when I get home too. So thank you to my BFF Stace for flying me up here to hang out and laugh and learn. She's got a great life and so do I.