Enrichment Anxiety

Places like enrichment bring out this strange quality in me, especially being fairly new in a ward. I walk into enrichment with a small knot in my stomach. I imagine that instant when you walk in and everyone is already in their conversations (because I'm usually late) and sitting at their tables. The embarrassment of standing there looking for someone to sit with and feeling like everyone is staring at you almost makes me not want to go. BUT- that's only whats happening on the inside. On the outside I immediately sit down and start taking over the conversation. I start searching my brain for little things I remember about people and asking them all kinds of questions about their life. If there is a silent moment I jump on it quickly and try to make everyone feel comfortable. Its funny because I think, hmmm these people probably think I'm pretty social and outgoing, little do they know, I am just pretty good at suppressing the in-born shyness. My mom is so the same way. At my wedding reception in Animas, she was pinching me and telling me she was going to die of embarrassment and in the same breath she was in an all-out laughing, wonderful conversation with some random person she didn't know! I just divulged my secret, so just know if you see me at enrichment, I'm really dying inside.