Suffer the Little Children to Come Unto Me and Forbid Them Not

Last Sunday I was watching something on my phone when Taylor, my 6 year old, came in "scared" and wanting to sleep in me and Jarom's bed. Just as I was telling her to go get in bed NNOOOOWWW... (sounds harsh but she always finds a way out of bed), I heard something from what I was watching and it has stuck with me in more ways than one this week. I was watching a biography of President Thomas S. Monson. He was talking about a time a little girl was diagnosed with incurable cancer and in her final stages. She had prayed that she would get to have a blessing from him specifically. He didn't know that- he just knew she needed a blessing but couldn't squeeze it in due to his tight schedule - he was only in town for two days and had lots of meetings. He felt very antsy about not seeing her and finally decided despite the long trek to her home and his meetings, he would make it happen. He arrived late and gave her the desired blessing and she passed a way 4 days later. He then quoted the scripture from Christ himself "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not". Those were the words I heard as I turned Taylor away. Jarom heard it too- we both kind of laughed and I told her to grab a blanket and make a bed on the floor by me.

 Since then I have thought about this so much. It popped into my mind tonight as I was putting the kids to bed and caused me to take an extra 30 minutes telling them stories about when I was young and singing Mally three songs instead of 1 quick rendition. It gave me patience with my girls when they wanted to act out how Taylor's night terrors used to be and make each other laugh just one more time. It helped me to listen better to Jack when he wasn't feeling good and give him more empathy. I actually didn't realize how much I was shunning the kids at times. Sometimes what I think is discipline and teaching autonomy is really laziness on my part or perhaps a little selfishness (ok a lot sometimes). I know I don't need to drop everything for my kids any second they need me - and "forbid them not" doesn't mean they shouldn't be reprimanded at times or encouraged to do things independently- but they are our purpose. Everyone on earth was a child and is raising the next generation, whether they have children or not. What is more important than giving of our time and talents (attention, love, kindness, gentleness, empathy) to children?

Tonight Mally was just being so cute grabbing my face and kissing it and being so silly. I felt a pain in my heart. She is most likely our last and I can't imagine a world without a little 2 year old's arms around my neck. I am kind of sick to my stomach over it every time I think of it. And no matter how much anyone told me to "cherish those days" when I had my three olders all so close together and all needing so much- I still wished them away. I wished for days when they could talk to me and be my buddies. I'm not going to lie- I love older kids- but oh those two-year-old arms. It brought me to a realization- is this really the only time in our eternal existence we will get this? Will we only raise this earthly family and feel this joy once? I have often heard of parents who have lost children in infancy being able to raise them in the Millenium, but what about those of us who were fortunate to have had healthy babies and are raising them now? I'm not complaining- I know I can't comprehend what joy lays in store for me. But if this is the only time with those two-year old arms- oh man I want to cherish this more. I want to drop everything and build a lego castle- or climb in to bed and read Harry Potter with British voices. These kids - all kids- are everything. I don't want to get so caught up in my job, my calling, housework, friends, planning vacations, dreaming of the future and making cool stuff happen and forget to look at my kids in the eyes. To make them know they are the most important thing along with God and my husband.

My mom is great at making children feel important and loved. One fruit of her labor is she gets to be everyone's nurse on Sunday nights when we all get together. They all like to come to Lala for every scab, scrape, spot or no spot so she can give them some words of empathy and advice (and most of all attention). My grandpa was also wonderful at this. He always sat in his big comfy chair and never once did he turn me away when I would come lay my at first tiny little body and then later my huge long body across his lap so he would scratch my back and tell me stories. He held a Saturday night dance for all the youth in the stake. He was there every single Saturday night. Everyone called him Uncle Chuck. He made everyone feel like family. I am lucky to have such wonderful examples in my life.

So as school starts, and all the hustle, I am determined to slow down when I need to, despite the consequence, and really listen. Not only to my kids, but to my high school kids, to the youth in my ward, all the kids in my life. All good things come with sacrifice. If I need to sacrifice that free time, that nap or my butt being on a couch for a second, Even when they are being annoying or mean or sassy. I hope I can take the time to teach rather than to yell or hide ha! I hope I have the energy to do it! And to remember why I'm here! I want my kids to know how much I love and think about and pray for them. Lets all raise each others kids and do it with intent and care.