I had the absolute greatest beginning to my week! I was on fire with working out, studying scriptures, getting stuff done, eating healthy, organizing, being a very intentional and patient mom... and then by Friday I was eating cheetoes for a snack, not making it to the gym, exhausted, in a grouchy mood, and feeling the weight of the world! How does this happen in ONE WEEK? So I'm going to analyze this puppy out so I can figure it out- I'm determined.
So any good detective looks for clues and follows their gut to solve a mystery (lets go Walt Longmire style) .
Sunday and Monday Nights:
- prepped for the next day with list, a plan and stuff laid out
- in bed before 10- watched a show but asleep by 11
Monday and Tuesday morning:
- both next mornings- went to the gym at 5:15am
- listened to a talk on the way and read some scriptures later that day
- scriptures with the fam before school
- mind stayed focused all day and got lots done
- took a small power nap at 11am before work on Tuesday
Tuesday Night:
- In bed fairly early, watched more tv, fell asleep watching it
Wednesday
- woke up feeling sore,
- Scriptures with the fam
-went to an 8:45 Piyo class that I loved!
- Forgot to listen to a talk
- wasted some time on my phone
Wednesday Night
- marathoned Longmire with Jarom (like 3 episodes) went to bed super late!
- zero prep for Thursday
Thursday Morning
- got up SO reluctantly after 5 alarms
- quick rushed scriptures
- almost late to school
- no work out
Thursday Night
- went to Walmart with the kids for Mal's bday and had fun but got home at 9:15pm
-in bed around 11, prepared a tiny bit for Friday (made a grocery list)
Friday
- no work out
- scriptures with the kids was good, but didn't get to mine until night and was only awake enough to read a couple verses.
- lots of time , feeling entitled to be lazy after a "rough week"
- feeling entitled to bad food because of having ate so good this week
- feeling grumpy and tired and mad at the world ha!
As I'm recalling my week, its pretty clear what has happened-
My fortifications to having a great day:
- spiritual nourishment (scriptures, prayer, service)
- physical nourishment (good food, exercise, power naps, early bed time, early wake time)
- planning! (if you fail to plan, you plan to fail right?!)
I honestly thought I was mentally and physically exhausted because of outside sources! I had a rough week at work with a few different things going that have taken their toll. Sure, this could add to my stress level but I can't help but to think, what if I had continued on the course I had set out upon early in my week? Would I be better equipped to handle any issue that comes my way? I am pretty certain I would.
**"temperate- showing moderation or self-restraint
We are asked to be temperate in all things. So 1 episode- great! 3- no Bueno. Practicing self-restraint by sticking to a schedule that will ensure that I am at my greatest possible capacity each day is temperance at its finest. If I have that clear mind, I can take on the world!
I'm not beating myself up too bad- this tends to happen lots in my life and I'm so so grateful for Sundays- a time to reflect, a time to rest, to repent and to make commitments to do better! It seems Heavenly Father knew we would screw up by Fridays!
I just have to keep trying to put first things first and to be a little better each week!
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Suffer the Little Children to Come Unto Me and Forbid Them Not
Last Sunday I was watching something on my phone when Taylor, my 6 year old, came in "scared" and wanting to sleep in me and Jarom's bed. Just as I was telling her to go get in bed NNOOOOWWW... (sounds harsh but she always finds a way out of bed), I heard something from what I was watching and it has stuck with me in more ways than one this week. I was watching a biography of President Thomas S. Monson. He was talking about a time a little girl was diagnosed with incurable cancer and in her final stages. She had prayed that she would get to have a blessing from him specifically. He didn't know that- he just knew she needed a blessing but couldn't squeeze it in due to his tight schedule - he was only in town for two days and had lots of meetings. He felt very antsy about not seeing her and finally decided despite the long trek to her home and his meetings, he would make it happen. He arrived late and gave her the desired blessing and she passed a way 4 days later. He then quoted the scripture from Christ himself "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not". Those were the words I heard as I turned Taylor away. Jarom heard it too- we both kind of laughed and I told her to grab a blanket and make a bed on the floor by me.
Since then I have thought about this so much. It popped into my mind tonight as I was putting the kids to bed and caused me to take an extra 30 minutes telling them stories about when I was young and singing Mally three songs instead of 1 quick rendition. It gave me patience with my girls when they wanted to act out how Taylor's night terrors used to be and make each other laugh just one more time. It helped me to listen better to Jack when he wasn't feeling good and give him more empathy. I actually didn't realize how much I was shunning the kids at times. Sometimes what I think is discipline and teaching autonomy is really laziness on my part or perhaps a little selfishness (ok a lot sometimes). I know I don't need to drop everything for my kids any second they need me - and "forbid them not" doesn't mean they shouldn't be reprimanded at times or encouraged to do things independently- but they are our purpose. Everyone on earth was a child and is raising the next generation, whether they have children or not. What is more important than giving of our time and talents (attention, love, kindness, gentleness, empathy) to children?
Tonight Mally was just being so cute grabbing my face and kissing it and being so silly. I felt a pain in my heart. She is most likely our last and I can't imagine a world without a little 2 year old's arms around my neck. I am kind of sick to my stomach over it every time I think of it. And no matter how much anyone told me to "cherish those days" when I had my three olders all so close together and all needing so much- I still wished them away. I wished for days when they could talk to me and be my buddies. I'm not going to lie- I love older kids- but oh those two-year-old arms. It brought me to a realization- is this really the only time in our eternal existence we will get this? Will we only raise this earthly family and feel this joy once? I have often heard of parents who have lost children in infancy being able to raise them in the Millenium, but what about those of us who were fortunate to have had healthy babies and are raising them now? I'm not complaining- I know I can't comprehend what joy lays in store for me. But if this is the only time with those two-year old arms- oh man I want to cherish this more. I want to drop everything and build a lego castle- or climb in to bed and read Harry Potter with British voices. These kids - all kids- are everything. I don't want to get so caught up in my job, my calling, housework, friends, planning vacations, dreaming of the future and making cool stuff happen and forget to look at my kids in the eyes. To make them know they are the most important thing along with God and my husband.
My mom is great at making children feel important and loved. One fruit of her labor is she gets to be everyone's nurse on Sunday nights when we all get together. They all like to come to Lala for every scab, scrape, spot or no spot so she can give them some words of empathy and advice (and most of all attention). My grandpa was also wonderful at this. He always sat in his big comfy chair and never once did he turn me away when I would come lay my at first tiny little body and then later my huge long body across his lap so he would scratch my back and tell me stories. He held a Saturday night dance for all the youth in the stake. He was there every single Saturday night. Everyone called him Uncle Chuck. He made everyone feel like family. I am lucky to have such wonderful examples in my life.
So as school starts, and all the hustle, I am determined to slow down when I need to, despite the consequence, and really listen. Not only to my kids, but to my high school kids, to the youth in my ward, all the kids in my life. All good things come with sacrifice. If I need to sacrifice that free time, that nap or my butt being on a couch for a second, Even when they are being annoying or mean or sassy. I hope I can take the time to teach rather than to yell or hide ha! I hope I have the energy to do it! And to remember why I'm here! I want my kids to know how much I love and think about and pray for them. Lets all raise each others kids and do it with intent and care.
Since then I have thought about this so much. It popped into my mind tonight as I was putting the kids to bed and caused me to take an extra 30 minutes telling them stories about when I was young and singing Mally three songs instead of 1 quick rendition. It gave me patience with my girls when they wanted to act out how Taylor's night terrors used to be and make each other laugh just one more time. It helped me to listen better to Jack when he wasn't feeling good and give him more empathy. I actually didn't realize how much I was shunning the kids at times. Sometimes what I think is discipline and teaching autonomy is really laziness on my part or perhaps a little selfishness (ok a lot sometimes). I know I don't need to drop everything for my kids any second they need me - and "forbid them not" doesn't mean they shouldn't be reprimanded at times or encouraged to do things independently- but they are our purpose. Everyone on earth was a child and is raising the next generation, whether they have children or not. What is more important than giving of our time and talents (attention, love, kindness, gentleness, empathy) to children?
Tonight Mally was just being so cute grabbing my face and kissing it and being so silly. I felt a pain in my heart. She is most likely our last and I can't imagine a world without a little 2 year old's arms around my neck. I am kind of sick to my stomach over it every time I think of it. And no matter how much anyone told me to "cherish those days" when I had my three olders all so close together and all needing so much- I still wished them away. I wished for days when they could talk to me and be my buddies. I'm not going to lie- I love older kids- but oh those two-year-old arms. It brought me to a realization- is this really the only time in our eternal existence we will get this? Will we only raise this earthly family and feel this joy once? I have often heard of parents who have lost children in infancy being able to raise them in the Millenium, but what about those of us who were fortunate to have had healthy babies and are raising them now? I'm not complaining- I know I can't comprehend what joy lays in store for me. But if this is the only time with those two-year old arms- oh man I want to cherish this more. I want to drop everything and build a lego castle- or climb in to bed and read Harry Potter with British voices. These kids - all kids- are everything. I don't want to get so caught up in my job, my calling, housework, friends, planning vacations, dreaming of the future and making cool stuff happen and forget to look at my kids in the eyes. To make them know they are the most important thing along with God and my husband.
My mom is great at making children feel important and loved. One fruit of her labor is she gets to be everyone's nurse on Sunday nights when we all get together. They all like to come to Lala for every scab, scrape, spot or no spot so she can give them some words of empathy and advice (and most of all attention). My grandpa was also wonderful at this. He always sat in his big comfy chair and never once did he turn me away when I would come lay my at first tiny little body and then later my huge long body across his lap so he would scratch my back and tell me stories. He held a Saturday night dance for all the youth in the stake. He was there every single Saturday night. Everyone called him Uncle Chuck. He made everyone feel like family. I am lucky to have such wonderful examples in my life.
So as school starts, and all the hustle, I am determined to slow down when I need to, despite the consequence, and really listen. Not only to my kids, but to my high school kids, to the youth in my ward, all the kids in my life. All good things come with sacrifice. If I need to sacrifice that free time, that nap or my butt being on a couch for a second, Even when they are being annoying or mean or sassy. I hope I can take the time to teach rather than to yell or hide ha! I hope I have the energy to do it! And to remember why I'm here! I want my kids to know how much I love and think about and pray for them. Lets all raise each others kids and do it with intent and care.
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